CHRISTMAS.

     Christmas- my absolute FAVORITE season has passed yet another year. Yet another year that it never felt like "Christmastime."  Another year that the holiday "creeped" upon us all, and we have yet to believe it is over.  It comes the same time each year.  How can we not be prepared for it?  Not necessarily what we wrap, but our hearts.  Why can we not believe it is Christmas? It sounds like a personal problem that even I, lover of any and all things Christmas, is guilty of.  It does not feel like Christmas because we do not feel like it.  I do not think this is a conscious doing.  I certainly do not go out of my way to rush through this time.  The world is going down hill.  This we all know.  And this is an inevitable sign of our coming again Lord that Christmas is built around at its essence.  However, how we respond is entirely up to us.  Let us be prepared.  Let us prepare our hearts, and others, of the joy, the magic, the love that only Christmas can bring in such a united manner.  Better yet, let us be Christmas to the world year 'round.  Challenge accepted.  Merry Christmas, and happy new year. Here's to the Christmas-est year ever of life...Until next year.

A Pilgrim and an Indian Have a Party

       Thanksgiving typically brings up similarly following subjects: turkey, casseroles(green bean,sweet potato, etc.), turkey, black Friday,  turkey, traveling,  turkey.  Nothing is wrong with any of this.  I, like every other good American, does enjoy a tasty meal(or more) on this beloved holiday.  However, does anyone remember why we gorge upon delicious foods? Upon asked, many would say "Pilgrims" or perhaps "Indians" or maybe even "America", but the gorging did have a purpose.  The 

Pilgrims had been through thick.  They had known famine as an unending characteristic of their new life.  They chose freedom over security.  They gave up prosperity to follow a calling.  What is more, the people that should have been (and some were for a time) enemies ended up being their God-sent heroes, literally.  The story may not be forgotten, but with time the impact loses power.  As elastic loses its stretch over time, stories of old often seem less relatable. People do not change.  Our flesh has not changed since the beginning of time.  Add a few iPhones, tablet, and possibly a flying car, and the story of the first Thanksgiving could happen today.  I love pumpkin.  I love a great sale.  Let us not lose sight of the sacrifice and important time of family(even the ones that do not technically share the same blood).  Also, cliche as it sounds, let us not forget thankfulness does not have to only be a once a year thing. And finally, it is officially Christmas time, the most wonderful time of the year, to say the least.

A Secret.

We're far too alike, you and I.
 We can't accept compliments and smile through the crap of life.
To each other we vent and confide
But we leave just the same.
We're growing and learning the meaning and importance of being selflessly selfish.
I wish I could put into words what this is; I wish I knew myself.
I have always been so independent,so what's this sudden need for help?
I don't wanna admit, but you are the nicest thing.
Nice in multiple ways and in multiple ways does my heart go.
I want this to remain a secret,but I want you to know.
We run around the rules,the ones that keep us from our fate.
We search for our shot,but end up being the bate.
Love- a word-an action,feeling,and state of being,
Said too often, and not meant enough.
But until my reflection shines true
I can't love me,and can't truly love you.

I'M IN LOVE! I'M IN LOVE! AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!

               So, this title may be slightly deceiving. This is not a lie, but I doubt this blog will be what you all expect. I have come to a realization. Life sucks. Life will NEVER be perfect. We cannot wait for the world to get its ducks in a row for us to be happy.  "It"(whatever it may be) is not about that; "it" is about finding happiness through the crap,and boy, is there loads of that.  This, my friends, is true joy.  The relationships that grow from struggle, the friends that become family when everyone else turns their backs, when doors one would swear were the "thing" are slammed in our faces, when we find happiness in these is when we find the best moments of our lives. I am in love with life, not because I have the perfect lover, best hair ever, or dream job opportunities popping up, for I am single, my hair has a mind of it's own, a ginger curly mess, and I work at Chick- Fil- A while trying to get through this maze we call high-school.  I am in love with life because I finally realized it a choice neutral to situations.  I am happy because if I do not decide to be happy, there is, and will always be, far too much to keep me unhappy, depressed, even. I am going to love myself.  Note the "-ing" ending because I realize this will be a draining process. But I cannot love anything without loving myself. I deserve to feel beautiful, not because of pride, but because I realized it is ok, healthy, actually, to walk by a mirror and smile genuinely at what I see.  I decide to be happy because for too long I have allowed others and their opinions to define me.  Here I am. I am happy. I am in love.  This is a beginning, not an end.

THE SOUTH.

            Disney World is spectacular, but it is neither the happiest nor greatest place on earth.  However it is located in this area. This area I would be referring to is...wait for it....drumroll please.... the South.  Now, I may be slightly biased considering I am a born and raised Georgia peach, but my devotion is deeper than words on a birth certificate.  I could go into the differences between "Redneck", "Country", "Blue-Grass", and "Southern", and believe me there is a difference(some of you Yankees may be taken aback by this, no offense), but I would like to put more effort into emphasizing the fact that just as not every single human living on the Northeast shore is a "Jersey Shore" character, we are not all as ridiculous as "reality" t.v. shows make us out to me. We have class. We have dignity. We have hygiene. Not to mention one of our specialties, hospitality. I never meet a stranger, thanks to the example of Momma.  And if you have been to the house or church or any kind of special event, practically, you are family.  And we treat family right, even when they are knuckleheads. Oh, they are gonna learn their lesson, be sure, but we are going to take of them.  We do not miss church unless we are out of town or in the hospital, and if the latter, after service the congregation'll be cramped in that little room or bringing some homemade goodies to the family.  And although some church is though of as more of a chore or "have-to" rather than "want-to", this does hold us accountable, and sometimes we get the most out of those services that we momentarily thought about sleeping in.  We do not know much about personal space nor personal business. We always mean well.  We are innovative.  Sometimes our hearts and brains disagree, and when this happens, it is a tricky thing to master which to follow.  Right or wrong, we typically go with the heart. Football is more than a sport. It is a characteristic.  It is a party.  It is a binging factor.  Unsweet tea is simply incomplete sweet tea.  I do not consider myself to be an extremist. I am decently cultured.  I appreciate many arts and places and ways of life.  I am independent.  But, there is something about a boy in a flannel driving a truck, particularly an older one, with a power G tag on front, the cherry on top.  This makes me almost as happy as the sound of a banjo, fiddle, mandolin, and/or multiple part harmonies. Family harmonies, those are the best.  Not to the mention the South's beauty! Rolling hills, valleys, beaches, lakes, mountains, flowers, greens upon pinks upon blues upon purples during spring and summer! An array of warm hues during fall, mixed with festivals, all things pumpkin.  Christmas time! Lights, lights, lights! Prayers for snow!  Forever is not enough time to describe this Southern Belle's home, so how's about comin' for a visit and seein' for yaself:)

For a Particular Lumineer of a Cowboy.A True Best Friend. Here's to you, Old Sport.

  Happy birthday! Feliz cumpleanos!  joyeux bon anniversaire! 
Get chilly down south 
For something sweet to put in your mouth! 
A cold keeper of food just for such a teacher, 
Though you are the one and only day's feature!


Next,do you like green eggs and ham? 
Do you like them, Misfit I Am? 
Do you like them in a house with a mouse?
 On a train in the rain? 
With a fox in a box? 
No...well perhaps you should check some sort of "box" anyhow....



Happy birthday, and I think I may be more grateful than you
That you're around another year live, another year to help me through.
God and I both know you haven't been dealt a fair hand of cards.
You've done far beyond your share, and I'm sure it's been hard.
Your heart's been broken; your faith, tried 
And at timesfelt as though you had not a soul in whom to confide.
As myself, you've covered it all with a smile, an insecure shell to hide.
You deserve more, I want you to know
More than you think. You'll reap what you sew.
You're beautiful in every way
Though feminine it may be to say
So here's to a merry birthday no one can subtract from or add to.
I thank  God for sharing His masterpiece; I love you.

When I Grow Up....To Be A Flapper

       The location of a digit in a number can make all the difference in the world.  For instance, we are currently in the year 2012, but, however, I would much rather be living in the decade of the 1920s.  The fashion, the music, the lifestyle, it all intrigues me, not to mention my long-life aspiration of meeting, probably becoming best friends, and sing and dance in a movie with Bing Crosby.  It was an innovative time, filled with dreams of freedom and prosperity, and much done to attain these dreams. The same ol' same ol' was whisked away, especially for women.  Due to ready made clothing and canned foods, females were ready to leave the house, to explore, to experience.  The flapper idea is a particular one that delights me. The bravery to cut hair and almost, possibly occasionally, show knee, along with the dynamite attitude and lipstick to match, the young and restless were prepared to live on the edge, and most importantly, dance.   Jazz! This special genre, unlike any other, than can create feelings unlike any other to this day, was created, cultivated, and made magic happen during the Roaring 20s.  Party, party, party was the to-do marking this period, and the more extravagant and expensive, the better.  Passion outweighed caution.  Nightlife outweighed sleep. Excitement outweighed peace. Happiness, long or short lasting, outweighed guilt.  Not even the sky was the limit, and any day could be the last.  Such "living-each-moment-to-the-fullest" I admire, even if the lifestyle was not the most commendable.  I may or may not dream of wearing adorable and daring fringed dresses, with short, fiery hair-do, crimson cheeks and lips, dancing the evening away to the jazz orchestra!.... Okay, okay, I am caught; I do.  I may do it often... Okay, I do it very often.   'Tis not very realistic, impossible, actually, so I suppose the books, music, movies, and my imagination'll have to do for my Roaring 20s fix.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas Just Like the Ones I Never Knew

       My all-time, all-around, all-everything favorite movie would have to be, and will probably forever be, White Christmas.  This was the first film produced and released by VistaVision, yes, in color.  White Christmas, the song by Irving Berlin, also happens to be the most popular song ever! True story, this is.  It isn't me being biased..although that's basically what a blog is...Anywho, the story follow Bob Wallace and Phil Davis, entertainment legends who worked their way up together and achieved fame together after being best friends, more so brothers, since fighting along each other in World War II.  Combat in military was also where Phil saved Bob's life and never allows him to live it down.  They then meet two sisters, both very attractive, of a guy they were in the army with, and these ladies have their own act. After lots of fun music, dancing, comedic relief, romancing, and attempts of Phil and Judy(the younger, brown-eyed sister) hooking up Bob and Betty(the older, blue-eyed sister) they end up putting on a show in the barn of the inn in Vermont owned by their former General on a very special white Christmas.  And of course, just like any good story, the boy gets the girl, even better, both get the girls. Boy, did they have to work for 'em, though!  You will probably cry, laugh, and "aww", and every piece of heart melted by this true piece of art will be far more than worth it.
 May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white.

I've Got a Basket Full of Lemons and They All Taste the Same.

"I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same,a window and a pigeon with a broken wing.
You can spend your whole life workin’ for something,just to have it taken away.
People walk a tight rope on a razors edge carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons.
It could be a bomb or a bullet or a pen, or a thought or a word or a sentence.
The wind blows wild and I may move, the politicians lie and I am not fooled.
You don't need no reason or a three piece suit to argue the truth.
The air on my skin and the world under my toes, slavery stitched into the fabric of my clothes,
Chaos and commotion wherever I go, love I try to follow.
There ain't no reason things are this way.
It's how they always been and they intend to stay.
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.
Love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes."
                                             -Brett Dennen: Ain't No Reason




"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies, yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."
                                          -Goo Goo Dolls: Iris

"I can finally see that you're right there beside me.
I am not my own, for I have been made anew.
Please don't let me go.
I desperately need you."
                                        -Owl City: Meteor Shower

"Just past the circumstance, the first light a second chance.
No child could ever dance the way you do oh.
Tear down the prison walls, don't stop the curtain calls.
Your chains will never fall until you do.

Don't let the night become the day; don't take the darkness to the grave.
I know pain is just a place. The will has been broken.
Don't let the fear become the hate; don't take the sadness to the grave.
I know the fight is on the way when the sides have been chosen.

Cause' if you never leave home, never let go, you'll never make it to the great unknown.
Open up your eyes, keep your eyes open.
So tell me you're strong, tell me you see, I need to hear it, can you promise me
To keep your eyes... open my love.
So show me your fire, show me your heart, you know I'll never let you fall apart
If you keep your eyes... open my love
Keep your eyes... (keep your eyes open)"
                                          -Needtobreathe: Keep Your Eyes Open

"More times than not the ones you love are who you let down.
We're chasing something big our parents never tracked down.
The hardest part is looking back and making sense of the humble tries and troubled times of where we came from.

Still I'm feeling like a vagrant in my own town.
I'm like an awkward conversation.
All of this work and I ain't seein' any wages,
I ain't gonna stop until I do."
                                         -Needtobreathe: Tyrant Kings

                       Gosh, the list could go on forever! However, I doubt you have even have the time to read the snipets from the songs I did post.  Music is the universal language. Unlike most languages, though, it transcends the brain straight to the soul.  Music is particularly special to me, lyrics, especially.  Needtobreathe's Tyrant Kings lyrics, starting backwards, just for the heck of it, describes something I think every human, whether they admit it or not, deals with at some point.  It speaks of not belonging, feeling alone, unneeded, unwanted, and even pointless, hopeless. It also creates a stir of hope because it states " I ain't gonna stop until I do." Until I see results, until I get where I'm trying to go, I'll keep on keepin' on. Needtobreathe's Keep Your Eyes Open could be taken different ways, but I like to think of it as my Creator speaking to me. He's telling me not to settle for what majority of the world has. He's telling me He has more in store for me, epic plans! But that for whomever wants the most of this destiny can't sit in a comfort zone forever. In order to reach this, one must do brave things, maybe even seemingly stupid, with faith. One of my all time favorite lines is in this song: "Your chains will never fall until you do." I don't think I can add anything more to that; chew on it for awhile, will ya?  Owl City's Adam Young certainly has a way with words. Although Meteor Shower's lyrics are on the shorter, more simple side, it hits home.  Iris by the Goo Goo Doll's is an overall incredible song. As a personal thing, they may not be my very favorite band(no offense to anyone who thinks otherwise), but this song gives me chills every time I hear it. Between the tremendous, building instrumentals and words about someone who doesn't want to be noticed by so many who don't understand why (s)he is feeling what they're feeling, someone who in  a world of brokenness, of heartbreak, only wants this one particular thing to be okay.  One of the most brilliantly and heart-hitting songs in my opinion is Brett Dennen's Ain't No Reason.  It basically sums up life.  This song sums up how we don't know why we do what we do, but we do it anyhow, and how it's always been the way it is and always will be.  It sneakily declares the unfair, yet normal day-to-day issues and standards. This song also proclaims the rescue from the daily grind by love. The power of belief over twisted fact has such power. Free love sets free.  And he has a spectacular voice. I strongly encourage you all to look up and listen to, not hear, but actually listen to every single one of these masterpieces, and I will gladly share more music with any interested.  Well, that's a wrap, folks!

An Ode.

     So I began thinking of Christmas... which reminded me of how I  dislike when Thanksgiving gets overlooked... and so I began thinking of all the marvelous reasons I have to be grateful. I am truly blessed with an overwhelming amount of folks whom I treasure dearly. All of whom each deserve more than their own post, but, however, words will never begin to describe them. So, for the sake of in the very least giving some recognition I am aching to give, firstly I'd like to begin with the non-relatives. Although these people don't technically hang on my family tree, they are connected to me through a way far more reaching trace than blood.  They have not any idea that I am doing this, argo, because of lack of permission, I will not be using their names.

             The first acknowledgment I'd like to make is certainly a priceless treasure to my life.  Without reason, nor anything to gain, Eliza, we will call her, reached out to me when and how I needed most. No way would I have ever asked for help, but she saw through the fake front, and though we hadn't much of a relationship past acquaintance, she was Jesus with skin on. To say she is a best friend is not fair. To say she is a mentor is not fair.  In fact, through searchings of the dictionary I have yet to find a fitting title.  After she took such a daring, and possibly offending and even possibly hatred-toward-her-forming move(which is so unlike her), we found we sure were a lot more alike than meets the eye. A few of these likenesses are: coffee fans, hardcore thrifters, mixed-cd lovers, D.I.Y. craft junkies, challenging exercisers, and one of the biggest, hard-to-accept-our-flawless-image Jesus creations.  What a strong, beautiful, talented, graceful, inspiration she has been and is to this day to me.

          As this next chum might say, lights, camera, action, moving right along. He we shall call him cowboy. Never have I felt the same kind of betrayal and anger that I've felt towards him. It wasn't the same.  Sure I've been angry, but that movie, or book crap where a character cries because they can't help but love this person, only has that happened with this guy. Not ever in any romantic kind of way, but true-blue more than friend kind of way. I don't think it would've hurt so much if I didn't care to the extent that I did, or if he hadn't always been such a loyal, over-achieving friend.  Also, never have I felt so guilty for feeling so angry at, nor have I felt so special and belonging and unstoppable, rather than with this person. He makes me feel like I have worth. He seems to be so sure that I'm going somewhere, doing something, going to do more! He was always there to calmly get me through the lowest parts of life.And though I can't say for sure, I tried to be there for him. We take things so personally, both of us.  We want to save the world, but at some point those who give all have to be refilled.  We are so similar. From art appreciation, to common interests, to Mexican and Cajun food, and even to liking depressing music, we share something. This something isn't a level attained by years, or effort, or money-giving of friendship; it's there, or it isn't. And boy, am I glad it is.

            And lastly(for now), but certainly not least...cheesy, perhaps, but cheesy is befitting for the next hero/leading lady/amazingly my non-related sister. Not the annoying cheesy, rather the rare, adorable, gosh-everyone-wants-to-be-you-or-at-least-with-you cheesy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, tis time to talk about Magnolia. Well, who we'll be referring to as Magnolia. Where to begin! Try to imagine heaven, and this is comparable to her presence. Imagine the impossibly brightest star on the canvas of an open Arkansas night in mid-July, and this is like her smile.  Imagine the refreshing feel of cool rain while the sun shines after times of drought, and this is like her laughter. Imagine the most unconventionally stunning thing ever of life, and this is like her face. Artsy. Funny. Precious. Kind. Pure. How on earth did we become best friends? Beyond me, it may be, but I would not like to imagine what my life would be like without her shoulder to lean upon, and her car to ride and vent in with windows rolled down, and her comedic relief and wise advice while sharing raw cookie dough.

              So much more could be written about these impeccable pals, but sometimes, less is more.
And sometimes, you can't always get what you want. And sometimes, just sometimes, what you need ends up being more than you ever imagine wanting. There is a time and place for everything. And now, is the time for goodbye, but only until it's time to say hello again.

People.

    People: the best part of life, and the worst. God's most precious, special creation was able to be its own downfall. Give us an inch, we take our life, and yours.  A creation created to create, created to love. Not to say we are above our Creator, for He is the reason, the purpose. People search their entire lives for THE "purpose" ; it's Him.  This purpose has different details pertaining to whomever is the subject, but, however, the purpose does not change.  Whilst searching for this purpose, somewhere along the line, very, very early on, we decided to redefine success. Money, fame, college decrees, awards, romancers, style, body image, how do these contribute to our purpose? And once we attain all these, what next? What does it do? Are History books written about the people who lived in a white-fenced not-so-humble-abode, with two kids, a trophy spouse, and a beach house in Florida? What happened to living for something other than ourselves? What happened to caring about anything other than ourselves? Commitment is unfamiliar word.  If we don't like something, change it, give up. Even though we know this will hurt us, and possibly others, well, they should have gotten out when they had the chance as well.  People can make us feel the best about ourselves(not that this is right.) No matter how good, or bad, we feel about ourselves, confirmation from another mouth seals the deal. People can make us feel the worst about ourselves. No matter how good, or bad, we feel about ourselves, confirmation from another mouth seals the deal.  Blades cut, so do words. Words hurt deeper, even, particularly when from someone you love, not necessarily a quote "lover", but it's much easier to get over a tearing-down from an enemy than someone you care(d) about.  Perhaps, the hardest, though, is hurting for someone else. A friend is hurt, and you can do nothing about it. Despite any attempts, they don't feel any better, aren't any more responsive, don't believe the truth you know to be to true.  They can't even be blamed or hated, for they're the victims, right? Of course, if you asked anyone, they'd probably confess to being the victim.  Everyone's been the victim. Everyone's been the bad guy, too. Sometimes, a lot of times, it's these experiences, not the "successful" things of life, that shape us into the person we can actually stand, perhaps even decently like, staring back at us in the mirror.

A Letter Never Sent.

Dear Friend:
          You definitely don't know me, and I hardly know you
But I saw your face across the place, and I knew.
I knew I wanted to love you, save you.
But maybe, just possibly, I'm the one who needs you to save me.
 You're the greatest thing I've never known and perhaps if we gave it a whirl,
Maybe I could be your favorite girl, maybe I could better you world.
What do you want; what do you need?
I swear I'll bruise trying to be.
But who am I to think you owe me any favors.
I'm not asking for your life, not even for your hand.
You have my heart, may I at least have a dance?
I'm only asking for a chance
As a friend, as support, if you wanted, romance.
But that's your choice to make
And the weather's lookin' grey.
All we've got is time,
But time is not on my side.
So please give me an answer, even if it's goodbye.
I think I'll take that back.
Please allow me to dream safely from afar.
Wish I may, wish I might, I'm not too proud to wish upon a star,
Or to pray to a God whom I know has far more important things to worry about than me.
This may be silly, but it's evident, and that's the only anything I see clearly.
But you'll never see this, and even if so, never know it's meant for you.
Dream, I shall, though it's more like a nightmare, and I'll lie through a smile, cause I'm good at it.
In fact, it's the best thing I do.
 -Me

Let's Get Real.

             Another first week of school down. Whoop, I have survived! This year's goal, however, is not to simply survive, but rather to, dare I say, enjoy it.  Though I am young still, I realized to my dismay, I am growing older. Perhaps not taller, but I rest my case. I don't have as much time as I once did. I don't have enough time to put school first, work first, money first, reputation first, etc.  If the world finds me successful, I have failed.  Sidenote: speaking of high-school, to you "kool kids": You are not.  I enjoy your nerdy moments far beyond any "I'm too cool for that", "I don't care" moments. In fact, it burns my biscuits.  And I don't care how much you paid for your shoes.  At any rate, another note I'd like to make, not everything in life is a soap opera.  It's okay to cry and not to be okay, and it's even okay for this to happen for no reason. Now, don't get me wrong, staying in this mood could cause issues, but let's not pretend like we're reenacting "Titanic" (don't get me started with my dislike for this, either); what were to happen if we got real. If we didn't beat around the bush of feelings we all encounter.  It's not a code, or bad, or rare thing. It is natural.  I know just as much as anyone, more than most, that self-esteem issues are an every-day battle.  There is no cure for this. I am sure even the most accomplished(whatever that means) human has insecurities. Just remember kids, it's not what you do or have, but how you rock it. And people don't love people for the number of Honor Roll certificates or Grammies or Olympic gold medals. People love people who are able to love them. But in order to love others, you have to be able to love yourself(love and stuck up your own butt have different meanings..)
Laugh. Smile. Love. Be a friend. Allow others to be a friend to you.  Be selflessly selfish. Your reflection(inside and out) will thank you. As will the world.

The Blue-Eyed Daisy

        I am Cierra Motes. I believe Jesus Christ is Love, and that Love is all you need.  I collect buttons. I like storms. I am intrigued by accents.  I like to pretend the song "You are My Sunshine" was written about me.  I also like to think of myself as somewhat of a poet because I enjoy expressing emotions through lines and stanzas that I prefer to rhyme, unless it compromises the message.  Music is very near and dear to my heart, particulartly the sounds of the cello,  mandolin, banjo, piano, and multiple harmonies(not necessarily together, but why not?). Butterflies are super cool. I am fascinated by the 1920-40's era. Bing Crosby is one of the greatest performers ever. This is a fact, not an opinion. CHRISTMAS!!! What more can I say about that subject? Tis the most wonderful time of the year....which is a major understatement.  When I grow up I will most likely be a ballerina, actress, sidewalk chalk artist, part of the next greatest band, and a superhero.  Civil War history never gets old; the South was misunderstood. Georgia peach, born and raised, can you tell? I am under 5 ft.  I believe in old-fashioned class. Well, really, old-fashioned anything! I am a do-it-myself junkie. Smiling is my favorite. I am bad at sitting still. I am partially ginger(naturally). I am a dork. I have freckles.